Sometimes I Just Need a Victory

Have you ever experienced the kind of day where nothing you do seems right?  The kind of day when you try your very best at everything, but your efforts are rewarded with the proverbial “pie in the face”?  Perhaps this pattern hasn’t only lasted for a day.  Maybe you’ve been feeling this way for days or weeks – or heaven forbid – months!  I’m certain that everyone reading this can relate at least a little bit.  I’ve been in this “pie in the face” mode on and off for a few weeks now.  And here’s why:

Goobie.

Little Jake, or Goobie as he’s commonly referred to, is a FRIGGIN HANDFUL! He just turned one last week, and I swear to you, that kid is soooo strong, sooooo stubborn, sooooo picky, and soooooooo intense!  He’s heavy, demanding, non-sleep-needing, and teething.  Throw in a cold, and he’s the best birth control I could ever imagine!! I love him with all of my heart and soul.  Every second of every day I love him.  HOWEVER, there are times when I just can’t take another fight from him.

Parents of kids of all ages, you know what I mean.  Right now he’s resisting with great force diaper changes, clothing changes, meals that include vegetables, lying down for naps, going into his “cage” (the fence like thing in our living room to keep him contained while I use the restroom or unload the dishwasher), staying in my arms (have I mentioned he is SO STRONG?), staying out of Winston’s water and food bowls, etc.  Since he’s been sick, he’s resisting me sucking out his nose (we have a love/hate relationship with the NoseFrida), using the inhaler, rubbing lotion on his face or body, wiping his boogs, and anything else related to his face.  God love him.  I know that he feels miserable, but COME ON!!!!!!  Child of mine, mommy is just simply trying to help you all of the time.

On certain days, typically the ones where I’m home alone with him for over 12 hours without seeing another human being, I get a little discouraged.  I become weary.  I get incredibly overwhelmed with the fact that I feel like I can do nothing right with him.  On those days, I can’t wait for Wade to get home, so I can say “I’m DONE. Your turn”.  These are the days when I wish I had a job outside of the home.  Days like these make me want to get in my car (alone, of course), turn the radio up LOUD, and drive somewhere where I can spend tons of money on frivolous things for myself, preferably this place would be Target.  Then, I’d like to sit outside with a coffee, a cigarette, and a good book while the wind blows around me!  Don’t worry, I am not a smoker nor will I ever be one again, but I can’t deny that in years past I indulged in this nasty habit. Doesn’t that sound like a pretty cool pity party – minus the smoking part?

So because I can’t just get in the car and go, I have had to find other escapes.  Sometimes I read a book.  Sometimes I go outside and sit on our patio without any other stimulation.  Sometimes I cry.

But here is the little gem in this story.  Yesterday, I realized, as I was on the brink of a breakdown, that I just need a victory every now and again.  I just need a small victory to keep me going.  A smile, a giggle, a hug and kiss, a diaper change that doesn’t involve tears and scratches, a meal that he likes and enjoys, a successful nap, etc.  I don’t need all of those things each and every time or every single day, but I do need them.  I need these victories in order to make me feel refreshed and to justify my efforts as Jake’s mom.  I need victories to keep me going for another minute, another hour, another day.

Sometimes I just need a victory. Like this smile:

Big Toothy Grin

Jake’s big toothy yogurt smile….heart melts.

Advertisements

3 thoughts on “Sometimes I Just Need a Victory

  1. Jenny, I can relate. I was 36 when I had my first expected bundle of joy! I wanted this baby so bad! When he finally arrived… It was not as I expected. This so wanted child was unhappy! Period! He was colicky, needy… I thought if I loved this baby enough he would be happy! Not! As he grew his belly got better but then he didn’t want me out of his sight! He hated moms day out… Making my life miserable! Moms need time away from even the most happy baby! 16 years layer though… He is a happy, well adjusted, even though still shy, young man! My only advice? Keep your eye on the future!!! Crying won’t hurt this little man… He will live after the fit he has while you do what you need to… Knowing you do the best you can for this little man is good enough! My next child still had digestive issues… However she was much easier! Ahhh… Hope for the future!!! Before I know it they will both be in college and starting lives of their own as well adjusted young adults!!! Thank God!!!! However you define that term!!!! 😉 you know you have to push through, it won’t last forever! Define you needs and find ways to make that happen!!! Moms rock!!! The hardest job on the world!!! The kids rarely appreciate the sacrifice we make! But our conscience is in good state! We do what we need to do, more than we ever thought we could! We can sleep well at night… Once be kids get over their waking for ten thousand reasons after they are… Oh around 10…. 😉

    • Thanks, Amy! You’re always so uplifting and encouraging! I so admire that about you. 🙂 I know this young period in his life (and in Nellie’s) will be short in the grand scheme of things, but knowing it doesn’t make it easier! Haha! I think moms are the most awesome people around. I never fully understood my mom until I had a child of my own. Now, I think she’s basically a saint for handling my brother and me!

  2. Jenny, Missed you Sunday, but I guessed you were taking care of your little sick guy . There is nothing worst than the feelinging of helplessness when you child is sick and there seems to be nothing you can do to make them feel better. Listen to me Jenny…every GOOD parent has felt this way because you want to do something to help them. There are times when you have done all you CAN do. They just need te to heal and that is very hard to set there a not be able to do anything! Try to do small things for yourself, a cup of tea, etc. it will get better! Hang in there kiddo! God loves you and do do I! Try reading 1Cor. 10:13 that scripture has helpede get through some pretty tough times. Hugs!🌷

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s