What the weather has done

I am one of those strange people who loves precipitation.  I love rainy days (just like my momma) and always have.  Clouds?  AWESOME!  Couldn’t be happier!  But most of all, I love winter.  Seriously.  Bring on the snow, the ice, the cold.  I’ll take it!!!  Winter makes my heart happy because my second most favorite season comes right before it, and all of my beloved holidays happen in the cold weather months.  Watching snow fall outside while I’m snuggled safely inside with all of my people and fuzzy creatures around a glowing Christmas tree is probably the best visual of how winter makes me feel inside.  My husband and I are self-proclaimed Christmas FANATICS (the lights, the trees, the songs – THE SONGS, and the warm fuzzies that are all around).  We even played Christmas music in the hospital while I was giving birth to Jake last August.  AND, in a Hypnobabies class participants are instructed to imagine their “special, safe place”.  Mine just happens to be in a beautiful cabin in the middle of nowhere, decorated for Christmas, with a ginormous fireplace, and snow falling outside.  Told ya, I love winter.  It just makes me feel good, ya know?

It most likely goes without saying, then, that I am not a summer lovin’ girl.  This past summer in Indiana (where we live) was almostunbearable due to the high temps (some of the hottest ever recorded) and an intense drought.  We moved into our home in early May, and it didn’t take long before it was brown and dying. Even our salsa garden and hearty hosta plants that I was soooo excited about having faded quickly despite long nightly waterings and lots of TLC.  Since I’m a SAHM I like to get outside a little bit and explore other scenery because, let’s face it moms (or dads) who stay at home, looking at the same walls and rooms day in and day out make me want to pluck my eyeballs out!  Jake, our now 1 year old, gets antsy, too, as does our dog, Winston.  Not only that, I crave interaction with other humans, even if it is just someone waving to me from their car as they drive by Goobie and me taking a walk.  The weather was so unbearable that I didn’t even like to get in the car to go anywhere to have interaction with other humans or a change of scenery.  I was pretty much stuck inside what has lovingly become known as “THE PIT”.  The nickname, “The Pit”, is an old joke that goes back to when Wade and I moved in together, and basically he said that he was putting me in this pit and never letting me out.  It used to be funny until it became REAL.  Who’s laughing now, I wonder. . . ha.

Goobie and Grams

Jake and my momma outside of our house during the hot summer of 2012. You can see the lovely brown grass, too!

So, imagine my delight when around mid-August the weather breaks for a bit, and we have some b-e-a-utiful days!  It was especially nice to have Jake’s 1st birthday party, a fiesta themed “I am Juan year old” party, on a fantastic Saturday afternoon.  Moods around the Wingler household changed drastically with the change in the weather.  The windows opened up to let some cooler, fresher air circulate and the desires to be outside and more active opened up as well.  We were suddenly taking walks again almost every evening after dinner, and Wade had to mow our grass for the first time in at least 6 weeks.  Color began returning to the yard and our little salsa garden that we thought was a goner started taking off!  We even bought a perfect little red wagon for Jake as an early birthday present because what little boy doesn’t want to be pulled around in a Radio Flyer ATW on a beautiful day?  After breakfast, Jake and I began taking walks around our neighborhood, and sometimes it was chilly enough for us to wear jackets.  One evening while playing on the swingset, I commented to Wade that “the weather makes us better parents”.  It really does.

Nice weather = happy, more active family.

Green grass = happy Winston.

Cool breezes = excitement for autumn (and beyond).

Since I continue to be hopeful that the weather will stay bearable, I start to think about the upcoming months and all of the wonderful things that will be coming my way.  Obviously, the most pressing thing is this baby in my belly will be arriving into our lives in November.  But before that we’ll be celebrating Halloween with Goobie again this year, and we’re also hoping to get away for a few days for a “Babymoon”.  After Nellie arrives, it will be Thanksgiving, then Christmas, and then the New Year, and all of those holidays to me mean FAMILY.  I’m hesitantly hopeful that the weather will continue to lift my spirits and gently encourage me to keep putting one foot in front of the other -even when I would rather just lie in bed for a week – while bringing our family closer together.  There is just so much joy to be had in the next few months, and I’m so blessed that I have the love of my family (and the cooler weather) to experience it alongside me.

 

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Sometimes I Just Need a Victory

Have you ever experienced the kind of day where nothing you do seems right?  The kind of day when you try your very best at everything, but your efforts are rewarded with the proverbial “pie in the face”?  Perhaps this pattern hasn’t only lasted for a day.  Maybe you’ve been feeling this way for days or weeks – or heaven forbid – months!  I’m certain that everyone reading this can relate at least a little bit.  I’ve been in this “pie in the face” mode on and off for a few weeks now.  And here’s why:

Goobie.

Little Jake, or Goobie as he’s commonly referred to, is a FRIGGIN HANDFUL! He just turned one last week, and I swear to you, that kid is soooo strong, sooooo stubborn, sooooo picky, and soooooooo intense!  He’s heavy, demanding, non-sleep-needing, and teething.  Throw in a cold, and he’s the best birth control I could ever imagine!! I love him with all of my heart and soul.  Every second of every day I love him.  HOWEVER, there are times when I just can’t take another fight from him.

Parents of kids of all ages, you know what I mean.  Right now he’s resisting with great force diaper changes, clothing changes, meals that include vegetables, lying down for naps, going into his “cage” (the fence like thing in our living room to keep him contained while I use the restroom or unload the dishwasher), staying in my arms (have I mentioned he is SO STRONG?), staying out of Winston’s water and food bowls, etc.  Since he’s been sick, he’s resisting me sucking out his nose (we have a love/hate relationship with the NoseFrida), using the inhaler, rubbing lotion on his face or body, wiping his boogs, and anything else related to his face.  God love him.  I know that he feels miserable, but COME ON!!!!!!  Child of mine, mommy is just simply trying to help you all of the time.

On certain days, typically the ones where I’m home alone with him for over 12 hours without seeing another human being, I get a little discouraged.  I become weary.  I get incredibly overwhelmed with the fact that I feel like I can do nothing right with him.  On those days, I can’t wait for Wade to get home, so I can say “I’m DONE. Your turn”.  These are the days when I wish I had a job outside of the home.  Days like these make me want to get in my car (alone, of course), turn the radio up LOUD, and drive somewhere where I can spend tons of money on frivolous things for myself, preferably this place would be Target.  Then, I’d like to sit outside with a coffee, a cigarette, and a good book while the wind blows around me!  Don’t worry, I am not a smoker nor will I ever be one again, but I can’t deny that in years past I indulged in this nasty habit. Doesn’t that sound like a pretty cool pity party – minus the smoking part?

So because I can’t just get in the car and go, I have had to find other escapes.  Sometimes I read a book.  Sometimes I go outside and sit on our patio without any other stimulation.  Sometimes I cry.

But here is the little gem in this story.  Yesterday, I realized, as I was on the brink of a breakdown, that I just need a victory every now and again.  I just need a small victory to keep me going.  A smile, a giggle, a hug and kiss, a diaper change that doesn’t involve tears and scratches, a meal that he likes and enjoys, a successful nap, etc.  I don’t need all of those things each and every time or every single day, but I do need them.  I need these victories in order to make me feel refreshed and to justify my efforts as Jake’s mom.  I need victories to keep me going for another minute, another hour, another day.

Sometimes I just need a victory. Like this smile:

Big Toothy Grin

Jake’s big toothy yogurt smile….heart melts.